Depression and Confliction

I feel conflicted. How is it possible for someone to consider themselves a Christian, to want to follow Christ with all their heart and soul, knowing that you need to trust in God and put your faith in HIM, and still grapple with the concept of depression? I don't understand. Perhaps my spiritual growth is stunted, and maybe I'm losing my ground. Perhaps I need to be more focused. I'm not sure why I feel depressed. I can't comprehend how I can consider myself a Christian and still battle this depression, still feel all that worry inside. I realize that humans aren't perfect, but if I was truly firm in my Christianity, wouldn't that override any sadness I have in my heart? Wouldn't I be able to know that God has me in His hands, and be able to feel enlightened? I am just writing from my heart right now, feeling burdened and confused. I've begun reading my Bible more throughly again, and I'm focusing on strengthening my relationship with God, but I still don't really understand why I feel the way I do. If anyone has any insight to share, or if anyone has any ideas of how I can become stronger and overcome this obstacle, I'd truly love to hear from you. I feel a little lost, but my faith is unwaivering. I know God will pull me through, but I just don't know how to move past this and focus on better things. Feel free to give my your ideas or suggestions. Or, if you'd like, say a prayer or think of me, because I could really use it. Thanks, all.

On a much less selfish note, one of my friends is going through a very rough time right now. His oldest nephew has been diagnosed with cancer, and the family could really use some prayers and love right now. So far, they all seem to be keeping an optimistic outlook, trying to keep a sense of humor. Kind of puts things in perspective, as far as life and how fast it can change, how God's plans don't always make sense to us, but He places us in the situations and areas we are meant to be in, for his own reasons. We just need to trust and oblige. It's never going to be an easy win. We have battles to fight. Some more intense than others. I'm starting to really think over all of my views, questions I have, decisions I've made, how I can better myself and be a better servant. After I read my friend's email, my heart sank, but I also know I can give the gift of love and strength, be there to comfort and help. Isn't that what it's about, ultimately? To really love your fellow brothers and sisters, whether they are your friends or complete strangers. To give, not to receive, but out of love and compassion. Everything seems to come into it's own perspective in time. I feel that I needed to share and ask for help from others. My words are born from a deep part of my soul, tonight. I had to share. Blessings and peace to all.

Groovitude